Sunday, December 24, 2006

lots of randomness

ok... there's been a lot going on lately and not enough time to get on here and cover it. so here goes...

first of all, merry christmas! tonight was the first christmas eve in about 3 years i didn't have to close at work... zak, ken and i celebrated our christmas this evening b/c tomorrow i leave for ohio and zak will have to work anyways (yes, poor ken gets left behind with the day off!). it was magical to me. we all bustled around the house getting things all prepped and ready and made ourselves dinner and exchanged gifts. to me the greatest gift was the the feeling i had once all the food had been made and we were all about to sit down to enjoy it together. call me old-fashioned, but that was really the coolest. christmas has always been about coming together with those you love, but i had never really had to do it for myself. my family normally does a traditional "no meat" slovak dinner with sour mushroom soup and pieroges. well, zak's idea of christmas celebration is steak.... so we compromised and cooked steaks on the grill and i made the soup and pieroges. ken of course ate chicken and french fries.

second, i apologize to those that i haven't really been responding to lately. i have been very sick the last few days and last night i had my worst night! i went home from work early for the first time ever and then passed out on the couch. i slept for about 12-13 hours with a minor interruption from zak with some soup and cold/flu medicine. i also apologize to miss kate michele as i will not be visiting your new home while i'm in town unless it's by drive by... i will NOT compromise the health of those little ones! you've got enough health issues to deal with with them. also, i will call you with the details from the previous post.

third, a few days ago i received our first wedding gifts! my cousin and his wife from new york sent us a few things from our registry! how exciting was that!?! it's kind of starting to set in... especially how close we're getting!

fourth, we found out penn state was going to the outback bowl and of course we had to buy tickets... well, now i have to work and can't get out of it. so, if there is anyone that would like to use my ticket and hang out with a couple guys that are penn state fans, please let me know... the cost to do so would be $65 for the ticket and whatever you need for travel, etc! hehe. although with the guys you'd be going with i might have to GIVE the ticket away and PAY for travel expenses... hehe. j/k.

fifth, did i mention i'd been sick and am going to be traveling tomorrow?! i need to finish my laundry, get packed and get some sleep!

so... merry christmas to all and to all a good night.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

such strong little words

who knew that such little words could invoke such emotion... "i'm sorry"

yes, those little words can stir such emotion. whether it's a friend comforting you in a time of distress, confusion, or hurt. an old flame letting you know that he hurt you. or a bank telling you they can't help you with your dream. recently 2 of the 3 of these happened to me.

an old boyfriend apologized for the hurt he caused me years ago. i have finally been able to let go of the anger and resentment i held towards him. he really has no idea how much that really meant to me. i really think that's all i've ever needed to TRULY move on and COMPLETELY let go. i cried.

and today i got news from the bank. zak and i had applied for a loan so that we could pay for our wedding. i was told after lots of tweaking and deliberation we were ultimately denied. i cried.

now, i know that i'll never be given a situation i can't handle and i know money is just money. but we really wanted something so nice and we were hoping that we'd be able to use the loan to just pay everything up front and slowly pay back over the next couple years. i know there are people worse off than me financially and others with much more important worries, but i really wanted my dream wedding. sorry if that sounds selfish.

so, with time and prayers i know it will all work out. it always does. i just never knew how much those little words could tear you apart or build you up.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

blessed

i think for the most part i take life for granted. i forget how delicate and intricate it is, yet how simple it is at the same time. let me explain...

it's intricate because so many pieces and people are involved. even if very small. yes, that person you know at work but don't REALLY know has made some sort of an impact on your life, even if all they've ever done is said hello and how was your day? people you meet once at a gathering can touch you or teach you things you never thought you'd ever feel or learn.

it's delicate because it's risky! life can and everything about it can be taken away from you in an instant or over a period of a few months or years.

it's simple because what it comes down to is love. those around you are important. you do everything you can to make them happy and safe and they (hopefully) do the same for you.


i am truly blessed with friends and family that have touched me and played such key roles in shaping me into the woman i now am and will continue to grow into. i am blessed with a healthy life with minor bumps in the road. i have 2 friends right now dealing with such incredible obstacles in their lives and they handle it with such grace and strength. kate and kristal, my hat's off to you! you are both such incredibly strong women who don't deserve what you are being put through, but i know He has a plan for it all. i can only learn to take advantage of the days with the people that i love from you both. thank you for humbling me to realize these things. i pray that when i am faced with such incredible obstacles that i may have the strength and grace to proceed as you both have.

so to sum up... life is short and precious... soak it all in and enjoy what you have! we are all truly blessed!

Friday, December 08, 2006

2 hour drive for a date

so last night the shuttle was supposed to launch. zak REALLY wanted to go see this b/c he had never seen a night launch before (neither have i) and they are really rare. in fact after this one finally launches they are saying that it may never happen again.

anywho... we left clearwater about 3:15 or so and arrived in titusville (just across the water from cape canaveral... they wouldn't let us any closer without passes of some sort) right about 5:30. the drive wasn't so bad, it was really the sitting around in the dark in the cold waiting to see if they were actually going to launch. i know you northerners are laughing now about my "in the cold" comment, but it was quite chilly with those winds right off the water! anywho... we waited and waited and waited... and about 5 minutes before the schuduled launch i guess they decided to scrub (cancel). so no pictures of the take off, no exciting view, no brightness in the sky... just time to turn around and leave.

traffic was crazy, so we decided to stop at one of the little plazas for a bite to eat and wait for the traffic to subside. we came across a place that was a little bar/bowling alley/little restaurant. it was a cute little place, really nice clean bowling alley i might add! those are often hard to come by. we decided to order some munchies and played a few games of pool. we had a good couple of games and had a lot of fun while listening to some pretty terrible kareoke! it really sounds like nothing, but to me it was a date. something we just don't do much anymore. i really kind of miss those days. don't get me wrong, i love just hanging out as much as he does, but to actually go out together and do something together, it's just rare anymore. and i soaked up every minute of it!

so thank you NASA for scheduling that launch on a day we both had off. despite the fact that we didn't get to see the launch and drove a total of 4 hours, i had a wonderful time!

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

It's contagious

no, i'm not referring to diseases... LAUGHTER! (moods in general are contagious, but that's another blog for another day) laughter is something that's actually GOOD to be contagious!

today (which hasn't been the most easy going of days) i went to the bank with my roomate ken. he finished quicker than me and said he'd go out to the car and wait. when i finally finished i walked outside to go to the car, but he started driving over to pick me up. so being the goofball that i am, i hiked up my pant leg to about knee level revealing a very white leg with some gray socks that went about half way up my calf. unknown to me, there was a guy behind me that saw me and he bent over laughing which in turn made my roomate ken laugh. then as i got into the car and sat down i was now facing this mystery man and he lifted his pant leg revealing arguile socks almost up to his knee and some fairly white flesh as well. which made both ken and i laugh hysterically.

so, the lesson of the day... in a world that's so serious, it's good to know there's still silliness. do silly things. it will make you feel better and who knows? it just might make someone else laugh and brighten a gloomy day!